Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Special Guest: Will Smith!

Guys, I know that this blog is usually about Vin Diesel, but I had a really good opportunity to interview Will Smith, and I think I convinced him to do another rap album! So here it is!

Me: Hello?
Me: You wouldn't happen to be Vin Diesel, would you?
Will: hi
Will: what is that question mark for
Me: That was me being pensive, because I am nervous
Me: that you might not be Vin.
Will: nervous for wat
Me: I have been disappointed so many times tonight.
Will: lolz
Will: whose vin
Me: Vin Diesel. Famous actor.
Me: Big muscles
Me: Bald.
Will: ohh
Will: ya
Me: I talked to him on this site once.
Will: i knoe
Me: You know because...you're him???
Will: lolz
Will: are u sure
Will: it was him
Me: He claimed to be. What reason would I have to mistrust Vin Diesel?
Will: ok
Will: then i am will smith
Me: Oh wow! That's pretty cool!
Me: Not what I was expecting, but pretty good.
Me: Gosh, I don't know what to say to Will Smith!
Will: chill
Will: be normal
Will: i like normal ppl
Me: Cool!
Me: I am really normal.
Me: I am
Will: ohh thats great
Me: I watch youtube and stuff.
Me: Really normal stuff like that.
Will: ok
Me: When you gonna come out with another album?
Me: If you don't mind my asking.
Will: yea i know
Will: i have quit rapping
Me: That's too bad.
Will: i am done
Me: You were the best.
Will: thank you
Me: But I can see how you would want to. You seem to be taking your career in a more serious direction.
Will: i know i dont wanna dissapoint my fans
Will: for them ill come out with one last album
Will: yea
Will: u are right
Will: i wanna take up acting seriously
Will: do u watch my movies?
Me: Most of them. Haven't seen Seven Pounds yet.
Me: I Am Legend was pretty good.
Will: hancock
Me: And Hancock had some good laughs.
Me: Ha!
Me: Yup.
Will: hmm
Will: cool
Me: You gonna do a sequel?
Will: u shd go see seven pounds
Will: maybe
Me: OK dude. I will definitely see it.
Will: we are still in talks
Me: Gotta support the Fresh Prince.
Will: lol
Will: hmm
Will: so what do u do
Will: i did not get u r name
Will: did u like pursuit of hapiness
Me: Uh, it's Unwinder.
Will: one of my best
Me: Yeah man! Real tear-jerker!
Will: unwinder
Will: so u are my male fan
Me: I admit, I'm more of a casual fan. I keep up with your stuff, but I don't like, buy posters or anything.
Will: ok
Will: how old are u kid
Me: [deleted]
Me: Are you gonna do another Men in Black ever? That would be tight.
Me: OK, hey, since you're clearly mostly here to trawl for chicks, I'm gonna get a girl I know on the phone.
Me: She is sixteen. That's the age of consent in my state, so it's cool. You can talk about whatever. Anything goes man! Just act like I'm not here!
Me: OK, she has agreed to talk to you!
Me: She says hi, and that her name is Felicity.
Me: OK, now she's saying that Jayden is "too cute."
Me: Will, she says she'll take her shirt off right now if you show your butt again in I, Robot 2.
Me: Uh, but "from a better angle this time."
Me: Will, have I seriously misjudged you in assuming that you wanted to have an erotic chat with a teenage girl? It it because I'm here? I won't tell People magazine man, just act like I'm not here. I'm interested in seeing how celebrities cyber. For scientific reasons.
You: OK, uh, she just called your wife a skank. I'm so sorry about this.
You: This isn't going well. She thinks I'm pulling her leg. Also, I uh, embellished some of that stuff she said. Just wanted to get you talking. Sorry dude.
You: Say something, man! She's freaking out. She's mad because it's a school night.
You: I'm just going to tell her you said that I, Robot 2 will go in real close and show your real, actual anus.
You: OK, I'm having trouble making sense of this response. I'm getting sort of a gurgling sound.
You: All right, she hung up. I'm gonna go. Sorry man, but you're no Vin Diesel.
You: Stay fresh.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Vin would never some on this site

Me: Hello

Vin: hola

Me: Hey, I'm looking for Vin Diesel. I've talked to him on this site before.

Me: Are you him?

Me: (Wish it wasn't so randomized.)

Vin: oh yes. i am vin diesel.

Me: YES!

Me: Ha ha

Me: OK

Me: Listen man, I've got a script I want to pitch you.

Vin: godd shut up! vin diesel will never some on this site!

Me: You know how you have that crazy twin brother with the crazy red fro?

Vin has disconnected.

Vin leaks some secrets about his new script

Me: Hello?
Vin: =)
Vin: hi
Me: Hey, is this Vin Diesel?
Vin: david?
Me: Yeah!
Me: Vin!
Me: Hey!
Me: Long time no talk!
Vin: david davidson?
Me: You know it!
Vin: wow
Vin: i havent heard from you since my car blew up from n02
Me: How's the script coming along? You've probably finished it by now, I suppose, huh?
Vin: yeah yeah
Vin: more cars blowing up from NOS
Vin: and shit
Me: Ha ha, that's great! Keeping up the Vin Diesel charm, I see!
Vin: yeah
Me: Ha ha ha! Is this a hint? Are you...Are you thinking about starring in a movie alongside Mr. T.?
Me: Wow! Two tough guys in one film!
Vin: sound kinda gay
Me: Well, I'm sure you can iron that out in the script!
Vin: theres no comming back from this one
Vin: =)
Vin: i wear the rainbow
Vin: and taste it
Vin: HEY!
Me: That's bold!
Me: Yeah?
Vin: idk
Vin has disconnected.

What is this

Basically the deal is that I am going on Omegle and asking strangers if they are Vin Diesel. If they say yes, then they must be Vin Diesel.

These are all the chats I've had with him.

These are my

chats with Vin.